Derek’s Dive Domain

The way it is going, I could design an automoboat and get rich quick, but I can’t be bothered, so it ain’t gonna happen.

 This was my weekend report to YD…

 An Interesting Weekend

OK, my diving this year has mostly consisted of blown out dives, like so many of you, and it was with some hope that I arranged 4 dives in Dorset for this weekend, but the weather forecast looked OK after Friday so I decided to go for it.
I left work at 4pm on Friday, went home and loaded the car, and got under way about 5.30pm to head down to Weymouth.

Thats when things started to go wrong….

I had read, and seen all the traffic reports, which basically said avoid the M1, A34, M42, M40, M6 and M5 before J6. So I thought I would be clever and take the M69, then the A46 across to Tewkesbury and head down the M5 from a couple of junctions south of the problems. Easy eh ? Bzzzt… WRONG!
I got as far as the A46 near to Warwick, when the queues started for the M40. This cost me about 30 minutes, which was OK, as I was now moving on the A46 near Stratford, although there were lots of large flooded kerb puddles to avoid. But I was moving along OK. Then I got about 10 miles from the M5 and it all went titsup.com Everything ground to a half, as a roundabout was flooded. Even though I was only in a Fiesta, borrowed, I thought I can get through that, and duly did so, along with most of the traffic. But I only got another mile or so before everything ground to a halt big time. After an hour and a half of queueing, and slolwly edging forwards, we are met with the police speaking to each driver in the queue.
It turned out that the road up ahead was flooded, quite deeply, so I asked what alternatives were available, should I head back from where I came and take another route. Then the police woman drops the bombshell. The flood behind you has risen over the last 90 minutes and is impassable, as is the flood in front and there are no other junctions on this stretch of road. Oh bother, said Pooh. Shortly afterwards I am on the phone to Chris who is already down in Weymouth, and my mind boggles as about half a dozen guys in drysuits are wandering down the road towards me. It turns out that there is an RAF base just up the road, and they have dug some gear out of the stores I suppose to come and help. Not a scene I expected to see, but I guess I was only just up the road from the village there 62 people where airlifted out. So, I am stuck there for another three hours, until the water subsides enough for me to get through the flood ahead of me - almost drowning the car in the process… very very nearly got stuck in that one, thank goodness I kept the revs very high and slipped the clutch to help them stay high! So I am finally through the floods, and am only 3 miles from the M5… hurrah, everything will be OK now! Bzzt!!! Wrong again! I take about another 40 minutes to get to the Tewkesbury junction of the M5, where I am met by the most incredible sight, some of which you will have seen on the news since. I approach from the Evesham side, and am stopped by the police and told to basically park on the overhead roundabout above the M5 and just give up… I soon see why they are telling me to give up, as when I get out of the car, I nearly fall over in shock as all six lanes of the motorway are completely submerged, and you can’t even see the central reservation in places. It is now 1.30 AM Saturday morning, and I have been on the road for 8 hours already. I walk down to the pub just off the junction which I know is there, just to see if they are open for a coffee, and the staff there are being great, laying on free coffee and tea for everyone, and generally providing shelter. I get a coffee and settle down for a few minutes to watch the scenes on Sky news on the big screen, and the first thing I see is footage of me driving through the big flood That was an experience, seeing just how high the flood water came on the car! Then its back to the car to try and get a bit of kip, as we are going nowhere for a few hours. I only got an hours kip before being too stiff to sleep, so I go for a walk around the junction, and enjoy a bit of “Dunkirk Spirit” with some other motorists… I resist the chance to get my drysuit out and go for a dive on the M5, which would DEFINITELY have made the news I seriously think my computer would have registered a dive there!
Anyway, juat after 4AM, the water on the southbound carriageway starts to subside, and at about 5:15 it is clear enough to get onto the sliproad, and finally get moving again slowly, until Junction 11 as there are patches of flooded lane, but after junction 11 the road is clear, and with a couple of stops for coffee, I finally get to Weymouth at about 8.30
Total journey time 15 hours bang on.
I’m by now running on bad coffee, so pitch the tent and grab a couple of hours kip, as we are not diving until 2pm, although I’m still buzzing so its not great sleep. Just after midday we get all the kit together and go down to Weymouth in Chris’ van and get ready and load the gear onto “Goose” for a dive on the Aeolian Sky. This is my second attempt to dive the Sky after being blown out earlier in the year and I am looking forward to it.
We head out to the dive site, shot the stern of the Sky and kit up. 3 rebreather divers with expected long run times drop in first, and then it is our turn to go in. Troy the skipper brings us round to the shot, and on the horn, Chris is straight in, followed by myself. Even before I hit the water, I knew my diving for the weekend was finished. I don’t know what I did, but as I took the step off the platform, something just “twanged” in my thigh, and I am in a lot of pain as I hit the water. I struggle over to the shot, and join Chris there, telling him that I have a problem, and to stay there. I try stretching out my leg, in case it is some kind of cramp, but nothing is working, and I know from struggling to the shot that I am not going to be able to fin, and there is no way I am capable of doing any dive, let alone a 30 metre one in that condition. So I have to tell Chris on the surface that I can’t do it, which was strangely hard even though I know there is no way, and he signals to the boat to come and pick us back up. I struggle over to the boat, and grab the towline, and Troy checks that I will be able to make it onto the lift, which I manage to do by getting my good leg on it first, then carefully getting myself onto the ladder, and we are back on the boat. I am helped out of my kit by Chris, and another couple of divers, who had decided not to go in as they had suffered kit problems. I spend the rest of the trip out struggling to move my leg, as I can barely bend it and feeling terribly sick, as I had eaten a big lunch, having missed meals whilst on route in the car, and generally being miserable…
We head back to port, and I immedately let the Dive Dorset people know that I won’t be on the second planned dive, and after chatting to loads of other YDers down in Weymouth on various dives - Milldog, Jimbob, Weaselz, WWD, Clare Gledhill, Mark Powell and Frankie Price to name just a few, I dekit carefully and get some pain killers down my neck. I then wait for Chris to get back, as he has gone out and teamed up with someone else for a dive on the Countess of Erne.
So after everything is finished, we join a load of the guys for some beer and a meal in the local pubs before returning to the campsite, where I have another beer and then collapse into bed to recover from a very long two days.
We get up this morning, and the leg is still very sore indeed, and after packing up and getting ready to leave, we decide to head into Swanage where we had a pier dive and a dive on the Kyarra planned, to see how I felt when I got there, with a view to doing just the pier dive, and to pay for the now not required Kyarra dive. I had already phoned ahead and spoke to the lady there, to see if anyone else could use the dives on the Kyarra.
We get there, and my leg has stiffenned up again whilst sat in the car for an hour, so after initially saying lets try it, I quickly reconsider, and realise that its really not a good idea, and we kick the idea into touch, and go down for a wander along the pier and to pay our dues at the shop. (If they sold the places again we will get a refund, but I don’t suppose anyone would have turned up that late in the day)
I enjoy some fish and chips on the sea front in the beautiful weather, and we marvel at the fantastic looking viz under the pier Mary Jo had just arrived back at the pier, and the smell of perfume from the Kyarra is overpowering. The skipper of Mary Jo is told by another boats people that his ship stinks Once in the shop, whilst we are paying for the non-dives a diver in the shop introduces himself to us as Sidthejedi (Sorry, I can’t remember your real name already!) and we have a chat, and he tells me the one thing I REALLY didn’t want to hear, that the viz on the Kyarra is just awesome today. Ar5e.
Anyway, after this we decide to get a head start on the traffic leaving Dorset, which was mildly annoying as the weather had turned so beautiful, and I spend the next 5 hours heading back to Leicester.

So, all in all a dreadful weekend, and very expensive to get nothing, but as is always the case with diving, there is always someone to talk to, and more YDers to meet, and a good social weekend was had if nothing else…
And at least I got up the A34 before Oxford flooded

Finally, thanks to Chris for being so understanding as a buddy, as his weekend was also ruined of course, and to the YDers and other divers for being sociable